Jumbles

Why am I so obsessed with what other people think of me? It seems I can never make a decision without thinking about it for hours upon hours and then when the time comes to implement my decision I take the easy way out. I always try to convince myself that I gave up caring, but that isn't true in the slightest. I want to be seen as not caring, and I seem to put so much effort into this and end up just feeling hypocritical whenever I think about myself. I think this blog is in essence just a way to try and find someone as messed up as me. I doubt I will. Infact I doubt anyone will read this. I submitted it to stumbleupon in an attempt to atleast get some views but I suppose most people who stumble it will just skip over it. Please if anyone is actually reading this leave a comment just saying you read it or anything. I just need some reassurance that someone is atleast looking at what I'm saying. I feel like I should be saying more. That what I'm saying is just a load of jumbled thoughts... I suppose that it is but it atleast it almost means something to me.
I guess you can almost look at life as just a line of jumbled thoughts and actions. And judgements. But are we judged as much as our paranoia lets us believe? That one stupid mistahe that you made and play over and over in your head, does anyone else even remember? Maybe by letting it affest us we are reminding them maybe if we ignore it they will forget maybe people will focus on the good maybe they didnt notice maybe just maybe we are a paranoid society. Or atleast, I am a paranoid person.