Mirrors

I hate it, I hate it un other people, but even more I hate it when I catch it in myself, which seems to be all too often. It sneaks out of me, in that small moment when answering a question a bit too quickly, something that just isn't me. I don't know what me is most the time, but I know what I am not, and unfortunately I know that I sometimes am what I am not. I act in a way not in my nature, but why. To appear different? I have always tried to be myself, not matter the circumstances. So because it is my automatic reaction? Because it is societies (or my view of it) automatic reaction (and yes, I can blame almost anything on society), have I become just another mouth for an endless line of conformist sheeple (gosh I'm cynical). I seem to be far too impressionable of untrue, small-talk-esque responses, it seems to be a thin line, for me, between overthinking and underthinking. A thin line that is far to hard to walk. But walk it I shall try to do, after all, my ignorance of my hypocrisy can only stretch so far.

Jumping back a second, maybe this mirroring of my actions is just another wall to hide behind. Allthough I always try to show my true self, I have never strived to show my whole self, not even to my self. Maybe conformity is my way of saying, "you've seen me, but that's all you can of see."